How To Be Happy – The Ultimate Guide

Why do you want to change your life?

There might be a lot of reasons on the surface but deep down I bet there’s only one; happiness.

Changing your job or life situation might bring more meaning to your life. It might mean you laugh more at work or have more time your family and friends. But external changes don’t really increase how happy you are in the long term.

Think back to a time when you were really, really looking forward to something. It could be a holiday, going to uni or starting your first job. Then think about when it actually happened. Did you feel incredibly happy all the time? If you did at first, did it last?

Most of use quickly snap back to our usual ways of thinking. We might start complaining about the heat, get bored of going to lectures or get that horrible Sunday evening dread before work. I think that having a life situation that brings us joy and suits our strengths makes it easier to feel happy. But it isn’t everything.

The only way we can really change our happiness is by changing how our mind is working.

“ Your beliefs become your thoughts,

Your thoughts become your words,

Your words become your actions,

Your actions become your habits,

Your habits become your values,

Your values become your destiny.”

Mahatma Gandhi

This can feel disappointing. In some ways it’s easier to make one big change instead of having to work hard at something day after day. But it’s also incredibly empowering! You, and only you are in control of your thoughts, your actions and your destiny.

So this article isn’t about big life changes and creating a life situation that fills you with joy. Instead it’s about  the little things you can do every single day. Starting these habits will mean you can feel like you’re really living your life as you go about making those life changes. You don’t have to wait for a time in the future to be happy. You can be happy right now!  We only have a few days on this amazing planet so you might as well make the most out of each one!

So the question I’d love for you to answer right now is:

“Are you at the maximum level of happiness you could be for the situation you are currently in?”

If not, why not? What could you do to feel happier right where you are?

In the rest of this article I will show you exactly how to make this happen.

If you feel stuck in situation because you’re determined to see it through this is going to be so valuable to you. It might be that  you want to get qualified in your chosen profession before making the changes you know you want. Or you might have signed a 3 year contract and want to show your commitment. Not being able to make the changes you really want doesn’t mean feeling miserable for all that time.

I used to have a weird aversion to feeling happy in a life situation I wanted to change. I would worry that if I felt fine where I was, I wouldn’t have the motivation to change the situation. Now I’m actually in that situation, I’ve found the opposite is true. Feeling happier has given me a positive outlook on life. I’m more energetic, motivated and confident to do all the things I need to do to reach my goals.

To get you maxing out your happiness, here are 9 habits you need to include in your daily life. The first 5 from Shawn Achor’s fast-paced TED talk “The Happy Secret To Better Work?” Which you can watch here.  

1. Meditation and mindfulness

“One recent study, published in the Psychological Bulletin, combined the findings of 163 different studies. These suggested that mindfulness-meditation practice had an overall substantial positive effect on improving psychological factors including negative personality traits, anxiety and stress.” Headspace.com

I’ve been meditating for 10 minutes a day and trying to practice mindfulness as often as I can for 18 months now. It’s become easier as time goes by and it’s helped me stay calm and be less reactive in situations where I would normally lose my temper or feel out of control. I’m also more aware of my mood and how my body feels. I recommend Headspace 110% just because it makes meditation so accessible and easy to include into your daily life

1. Gratitude journal

According to studies by Robert Emmons of the Greater Good Science Center, gratitude practice makes you feel:

• more alert, alive, and awake
• more joy and pleasure
• more optimism and happiness.

Who wouldn’t want all of those things?!

Since the start of the year, I’ve been writing a daily list of three things I’m grateful for and journalling a page about one in more detail.  I didn’t really expect much but after watching Shawn Achor’s TED Talk I mentioned above I thought I’d give it a go. I’m glad I did because I have really noticed the difference!

I’m feeling way more positive and I really enjoy looking back and seeing all the great things that have happened to me so far this year! There’s nothing out of the ordinary but it makes you appreciate your life and everything in it. Start today!

4. Exercise outdoors

“People who walked or cycled to work had higher well-being scores than those who drove”

Livescience.com writer, Rachel Retner

Reading this, I’m not surprised. I walk to the train station every morning and it’s the best way to start the day. It wakes me up as I feel fresh and ready to go for the day!

The outdoors part is really important. I don’t think that going to the gym has the same effect as a run outside. Science has proved this too. A series of studies published in the Journal of Environmental Psychology show that just being in nature for 20 minutes a day makes you feel more alive! 

5. Random acts of kindness

According to the Greater Good Science Centre, “in countless studies, kindness and generosity have been linked to greater life satisfaction, stronger relationships, and better mental and physical health—generous people even live longer.”

Random Acts of Kindness day is coming up this month so get involved!

One thing I try and do regularly is letting people on or off the train to work in front of me. It’s usually a mad, pushing rush to get on and get a seat or to get off the train when it’s stops. It feels great to not let that desperate urge take over and to stay calm, stand back and let people on in front of me. They always look so happy when I offer! Plus if I do it when I’m getting off the train, I notice the knock on effect it has. The people I let get out of their seats in front of me, then let other people get out in front of them! It’s great to watch!

6. Set bigger goals and take action on them every single day

On Psychology Today, Timothy A Pychyl Ph.D writes “research literature also reveals that we experience the strongest positive emotional response when we make progress on our most difficult goals.”

So set yourself a big, difficult goal, break it down into baby steps and start doing one thing everyday towards it. You’ll feel happier and it will get the momentum and motivation going. Once you’ve worked at it for a few days, you won’t want to stop!

Action for Happiness explains this by referring to scientific research that shows working on your goals brings “a sense of accomplishment …this also builds our confidence and belief in what we can do in the future”

Since spending my train journey home working on my goal of setting up a business, I’ve felt a lot happier about my life and my future. The edge is taken off bad days when I collapse into my seat and focus on something exciting and meaningful to me.

7.  Read

I popped this one on this list with about 8 questions marks next to it. I knew that reading everyday was having a positive effect on me but I’d never heard it recommended for increasing happiness before. To find out if I could delete the 8 questions marks I did some research online and I’m overjoyed by what I’ve found; reading does make you happier!

Mindlab International at the University of Sussex found that reading for just 6 minutes can reduce stress levels by two thirds! That’s a better rate than listening to music, having a cup of tea or going for a walk!

So it’s a great excuse for taking a trip to the library, loading up with books and snuggling up with one and a cup of tea. Do it!

8. Do what you say you’re going to do

A few years ago I read “The Six pillars of Self Esteem by Dr Nathaniel Branden.” The first time I read it, this advice struck me and stuck with me but I never really did anything about it! (How ironic!)

But 2016 is the year where I will do what I say I’m going to do, for my own benefit. I’m so bad for committing to go to an event or a meet a friend then back out at the last minute because I don’t feel like it. I always feel really bad afterwards.

I’m also bad at setting myself a scary challenge and then chickening out. Even though no one else knows about you letting yourself down, the most important person will always find out. And that’s you.

After letting myself down, way too much I was doubting my ability to do anything. I didn’t believe that I would do the things I said I was going to do. Trust me, it’s not a nice place to be in.

Now, when I do something that I’ve committed to, it feels great. My confidence, self belief and self esteem has improved. I’m happier in the knowledge that I can trust myself to do the things I really want to do; no matter how scary or how I feel that day.

9. Spend time with loved ones

Research has shown that spending time with friends and family makes us happier. I make sure that I see friends a couple of times a week, spend almost every evening with my boyfriend and see my family at least once a month. I feel so much better for it!

As an introvert, I need my time alone and I could easily spend weeks by myself. However, I wouldn’t be in a very good mood by the end of it! When I’m alonge, I find it harder to keep negative, repetitive thoughts at bay. Now I’m making sure that I spend time with the people I care about, I’m not too alone, not too caught up with my work colleagues and not too over stimulated but spending my time meeting loads of new people.

Spending time with my Mum and Dad is the most challenging though. It’s so easy to revert back into comfortable but negative ways that definitely don’t make me happy! This can be explained by research by George MacKerron from the University of Sussex. He found that spending time with friends makes you happiest, followed by time with your family. Spending time by yourself apparently increases your happiness the least!

How to make this happen

Reading this list is all well and good but how are you going to do these things?

Step One- Write down a typical day for you. Where can you add these things in without having to get up any earlier or go sleep any later? (I love sleep too much to ask you to do that.)

Step Two- Look for dead time. Five minutes here or there, where normally you’d just go on your phone and read the news.

Step Three- Try and slot each of the 9 things into your day. Although don’t worry about a specific slot for 8, it is more an approach to take to your day.

Here’s mine as an example with timings:

7.30am Get up

8.00am Walk to work (exercise outdoors) 20 minutes

8.25am Train to work (write journal, random acts of kindness and meditatation) 5 minutes + 1 minutes +10 minutes

9.30am Work (random acts of kindness) 2 minutes each

6.30pm Train from work (complete a couple of little actions towards my big goals) 40 minutes

7.10pm Walk home (exercise outdoors) 20 minutes

7.30pm Time with friends/family 2-3 hours

10.00pm Shower

10.15pm Get into bed and write gratitude list  3 minutes

10.20pm Read 30 minutes

11.00pm Sleep

Tips

• If you commute to work by bus or train, this is the perfect time to incorporate some of these habits.
• If you don’t, then you may need to think more creatively to fit them in. But just think, 3 minutes looking at Facebook updates is your gratitude journal written!
• Try and replace time spent watching TV, browsing the internet etc with a habit.
• Use the rewire app to track your progress with these new habits

 

6 Ways To Keep Yourself Motivated

“Be miserable or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it’s always your choice.” Wayne Dyer

Have you heard of Herzberg’s (no, not Heisenburg’s) theory of motivation?

It’s really useful but pretty tailored towards keeping employees motivated at work.

So what can you do if you want to motivate yourself outside of work? It can be so hard to keep things on track when work is busy, you’re tired or have got a jam-packed social calendar. This article will make it easier for you!

Herzberg’s different motivators have really stuck with me since I learnt about it on a training course 3 years ago. Knowing what motivates me has helped me choose a job I enjoy and achieve a lot in my spare time.

So whether you’re trying to learn something new, keep up a new health plan or make a different change in your life, this article will show you how to apply it to your own motivation so you can smash your awesome out-of-work goals!

Step One:

Take this quiz to see what motivates you the most.

https://app.qzzr.com/quiz/155742/widget

Step Two:

Find your own motivation below for some personalised tips and tricks that will keep you motivated. 

Growth & Advancement

 

You are motivated by developing yourself, getting out of your comfort zone and advancing your life situation.

“If it’s challenging you, testing you and pushing you… it’s helping you become more of who you’re meant to be!” Mandy Hale

Questions to ask yourself

• What are you learning?
• What big hairy audacious goal can you set yourself?
• How are you challenging yourself?
• How can you push yourself a little bit further outside of your comfort zone?

Example

Can you turn your task into a mini project with an out of your comfort zone outcome?

For example the goal,“Write a novel in 30 days”  might motivate you more than “Write 500 words a day”.  

Must watch TED talk

Try something new for 30 days – Matt Cutts

Recognition

 

You are motivated by having your strengths, ideas and achievements recognised by others (and yourself!)

“There is more hunger for love and appreciation in this world than there is for bread.” Mother Teresa

Questions

• How do you usually recognise what you’ve done?
• What could you do to make sure you recognise your own achievements?
• How do you get recognition from others?
• What could you put in place to make sure you get recognition from other people?

Example

Make sure you recognise your hard work and courage at the end of each day by asking yourself, “What am I proud of?”

One way of getting recognition from other is by creating or joining a mastermind group. In a mastermind group you can share your goals and your progress towards them in an encouraging and supportive atmosphere.

Must watch TED talk

The puzzle of motivation – Dan Pink

Responsibility

You are motivated by taking on full responsibility for a task. You can get it done how you like, but if you don’t get it done it will impact someone else. 

“Leadership is taking responsibility while others are making excuses.” John C. Maxwell

Questions

• Who is responsible for the success of your goal?
• On a scale of 1-10 how much do you believe that the responsibility for your success lies solely with you?
• What could you do to move up 1 on the scale?
• How are you going to put this into action?

Example

Just setting yourself goals enables you to take responsibility for your life and will motivate you.

However, you can also make yourself aware of the responsibility taking on the task has. Will you be responsible for your friend’s happiness? Will you be responsible for helping a viewer overcome a difficult problem in their life? Will you be responsible for making your parents proud?

Must watch TED talk

Inspiring a life of immersion- Jacqueline Novogratz

The Work Itself

 

You are motivated when you enjoy every second of the task you have to complete.

“When you enjoy what you do, work becomes play.” Martin Yan

Questions

• Am I enjoying this?
• If not, how could I do it differently?
• Which of my strengths am I using?
• What do I like most about this task? What do I like least?
• How can I change the task to enjoy it more?
• What could I ask others to help me with?

Example

Make sure you’re not just doing something for the end goal such as starting a business because you want to work from home. This won’t work for you! You need to make sure that the steps you are taking everyday are fun and meaningful. If you’re not enjoying the day’s work, ask yourself “How can I change this so I’m having fun?” Then change it!

Must watch TED talk

How to find work you love – Scott Dinsmore

Achievement

You are motivated by that great feeling that comes from achieving what you challenged yourself to do.

“There’s nothing better than achieving your goals, whatever they might be.” Paloma Faith

Questions

• Have I broken the task into tiny clear steps?
• If not, what are the smallest things I need to do to get this task done?
• How will I know when I’ve achieved this task?
• What am I going to do to celebrate getting it done?

Example

Break down tasks into baby steps so you get that feeling of achievement frequently! If you work visually it’s fun to create something to chart your progress.

For example, if your goals was to organise a trip to Central America, you could:

• Create a poster for your wall
• Put on it a graph that you can colour in for every £10 you save.
• Draw on different symbols (like outlines of a plane, scuba mask, hotel etc.) that you can colour in each time you book a part of your trip.

Must watch TED talk

Why we do what we do- Tony Robbins

 

How To Use Your Creativity To Find Direction (Even If You’re Not A Creative Person)

“Create what sets your heart on fire and it will illuminate the path ahead.” Karma Voce

Are you a creative person?

If you love crafting or writing or icing cupcakes then this question might be easy for you. On the other hand, if you gave up art in Year 9 because your teacher basically said you were rubbish, you might feel less comfortable with this question.

I was really creative as a child but as I grew up that faded away. A year ago I would have avoided anything even remotely creative like the plague!  However, recently I’ve realised that it isn’t just about writing books like JK Rowling or painting a Picasso.

Google the definition of creativity and you’ll get:

“using imagination or original ideas to create something”

That could apply to loads of things! In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if you used your imagination or original ideas to create something every day of your life!

Creating a solution to a customer’s problem at work? Check!

Creating a delicious dinner for you and a friend? Check!

Creating a Tweet or Facebook post? Check!

So much of what we do in everyday life uses our creativity. I think that if you didn’t have this skill and weren’t a creative person you’d find it hard to function in everyday life. So start embracing your creativity and make the most out of this skill!

For those of you who are feeling really frustrated with your life right now; if you really want to do something different with it but have no idea what,  I think you’ll find that using your creativity is the key to moving forwards.

• It will take away the frustration.
• You’ll learn more about what you enjoy doing.
• You’ll have something to show for how you’re spending your free time.
• You’ll feel like you’ve really achieved something.

But what do you create?!

If you haven’t already, check out my last 2 posts which are kind of the prequels to this one!

Once you’ve read and taken action on those, the next step is to create something that helps you learn more about the topic you’ve been following your curiosity on.

It might be obvious what you need to create, for example, if you’ve been learning photography then you’ll want to take some photos! However, it’s way more fun if you take it a bit further and  make a creative mini project out of it.

Taking the photography example, could you set use Instagram to share photos of day to day life in your city?

Or could you take photos of the people you meet each day, find out their stories and make it into an eBook?

Or photograph nature in the changing seasons and use the images to raise awareness of global warming?

Having this bigger purpose will make learning and creating more fun, meaningful and exciting!

For less obviously creative topics than photography it might be harder to work out what to create.

Here are some steps to help you figure out what to do. Use these if you have no idea what to create.

On the other hand, if you’ve got a even just a little bit of excitement in your belly about an idea you’ve got then, please, go for that!

Step One: Think of a goal related to your topic.

Some ideas to get you started are:

• Volunteer
• Practice it regularly
• Create an infographic on key facts and figures to do with your topic
• Make a video teaching others about it
• Add your own opinions and ideas to what you’ve learnt and create an eBook about it
• Start a Podcast and discuss your topic
• Blog about it
• Create a course teaching others what you’ve learnt about it
• Start a photo project related to your topic
• Create a piece of artwork inspired by the topic

Step Two: Think of a bigger purpose/project this could link into. Here are some ideas:

• Raising awareness/money for a cause you care about e.g. baking cakes and selling them at work to raise money for a cancer charity
• A time related challenge e.g. 30 day challenge, write 4 stories in 4 weeks.
• A number related challenge e.g. have 5 conversations in Italian
• Inspiring others e.g. getting people excited about eating Paleo via a blog, YouTube channel or Twitter account

So…

Topic + goal + purpose= awesome, creative learning project!

Some examples are:

Topic: Learning to surf

Goal: Go surfing once a week

Purpose: Learn to surf in 30 days

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Topic: Learning about wildlife conservation

Goal: Volunteer once a week

Purpose: Blog about your experience to raise awareness of the cause

---

 

Topic: Playing the piano

Goal: Practice half an hour a day

Purpose: Learn to play 5 blues songs off by heart

Exciting!

As we’re still figuring out what you enjoy and what you want to do I would recommend your project doesn’t last longer than a month. By keeping it short and sweet you’re more likely to:

• Get started
• Keep motivated and see it through to the end

This is so important because only by seeing it through to the end will you:

• Grow in confidence because you’ve completed a goal you set yourself.
• Know whether you really like it and want to take it further or not.
• And if you do take it further, completing this goal and having those new experiences will spark your curiosity and you’ll have new ideas to follow to take it further!

“It’s not just about creativity, it’s about the person you’re becoming when your creating.” Charlie Peacock

This is just a guideline for getting creative with your curiosity. If your learning has inspired you to create something in a different way then go for it! But this formula is here if you’re feeling stuck and have no idea what to do.

When working through the steps above I reckon brainstorming a lots of ideas is the way to go.

It can be hard to come up with one good idea.  However, if you give yourself permission to write a few rubbish ones down first then the  floodgates open and the ideas will flow out.

It’s then that you will get come up with the really exciting projects.

ACTION:

1. Use the steps and formula above to brainstorm creative projects related to the topic you’re curious about. Come up with a clear goal and then relate it to a bigger purpose
2. Get creating!
3. Stop after a month maximum and reflect on your project. Ask yourself, am I still curious about this?
4. If no, go back to the beginning of the process and choose another item off your list. If yes, my article next week will help you decide how you can take this interest further.

Remember: topic + goal + purpose = awesome creative learning project!

Resources to check out:

On creativity:

Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert

Magic Lessons podcast by Elizabeth Gilbert

On mini projects:

Be a Free Range Human by Marianne Cantwell

Screw Work Let’s Play by John Williams

7 Simple Steps To Taking Action on Your Dreams

“Start where you are, use what you have, do what you can” Arthur Ashe

The last year for me has been a bit of a rollercoaster as I got settled in a new city, new job and living with my boyfriend. On top of all that I wanted 2015 to be the year where I tried as many new things as I could; where I followed my curiosity so I could work out what I wanted to do with the rest of my life.

So I tried all of the things I dreamed about doing, I learnt beginners Italian, rediscovered how to draw nature, baked, wrote my first novella (fiction between 17,000-40,000 words – mine’s 28,300 to be precise), somehow got my PADI Open Water qualification, passed a climbing certification and learnt to boulder, learnt to Stand Up Paddle Board and went whenever I could. I also travelled to 3 new countries (Italy, Monaco and Thailand). Some of these things I loved instantly while some surprised me when I found that I didn’t enjoy them as much as I thought I would.

I’d heard it so many times before, but only by actually doing it did I realise how important it is to take action on your dreams. Even if the action is really small, only by giving it a go will you really know if it’s for you. Life’s too short to spend all your time dreaming, not taking any action for years and then when you do you realise you don’t love it as much as you thought you would!

“Above all, try something” – Franklin D Roosevelt

My last post was about following your curiosity and my challenge to you was to write a list of everything that you’re curious about. Did you do it? If not, do it now because you’ll need it for the next bit!

Follow these seven steps now to start taking that action today:

Step One: Choose 1 item from your list of topics you’re curious about. If you have dreams you want to pursue, choose one linked to them, if not just choose the one that makes you most excited! Or if you feel you need to ease into this, choose the one that is easiest.

Step Two: Decide how you are going to learn a bit about it. Remember this should be really simple. It’s you’re first, tiny action. It doesn’t need to be big, scary or life-changing. Here, the most important thing is that you actually do it.

Here are some free and easy ideas:

• Borrow a book from your local library
• Watch a how- to video on YouTube
• Find a blog on the topic and read an article or two
• Watch a documentary related to the topic on Netflix (this is my favourite way of getting an insight into a new topic)
• Look on Ed-X, Coursera or Khan Academy for any free online courses and start on a module.
• Find a podcast on the topic and listen to a couple
• Look for free trials e.g. Audible, Kindle Unlimited etc and download a free e-book or audio book on the topic.

Step Three – DO IT! Listen to the podcast, read the blog or watch the film.

Step Four– Reflection time. Sometimes we like the idea of something more than we actually enjoy the topic. For example, I love being in nature and really liked the idea of learning about biology. Then when I actually sat down and spent a couple of hours learning about it, I realised that it didn’t appeal to me as much I as I had thought. So ask yourself “Am I still curious about this topic?”

If you answered “YES!” move on to Step Five. If you answered “mmm not really”, go back to Step One,  choose a different topic and repeat!

Step Five – Now it’s time to step up your quest to follow your curiosity. Step Three was about passively learning from the comfort of your home. Now I want you to take it up a notch and get out of your house to learn about the topic. This might not be something you can do instantly, you might need to organise it on your next free weekend. But do the research and get it confirmed so you know that you are still making progress. My tip is to commit to it by paying in advance or organising to go with a friend so you won’t let anything else get in your way.

Here are some ideas for what you could do:

• Google to find a class.
• Look on Meetup for any that link to what you’re learning about. Even if you feel an absolute beginner, still go! There will be people there would love to help you along your way- everyone enjoys feeling like an expert!
• Search Eventbrite for any events related to your chosen topic.
• Search to see any local attractions where you could learn more e.g. museums, zoos, gardens. Be sure to attend any tours they have going on, or get chatting to someone who works there and ask them a couple of questions. They might offer you a different perspective.
• If you’re topic is really niche and there’s nothing about in weekend travelling distance, look for somewhere online that you can interact with people who know about your topic. It could be a forum, Facebook group or service where you can call people on Skype to learn about your topic (I’m thinking obscure languages for that one.) Join up and get involved by asking some questions that you would love to know the answer to.

Step Six – Again ask yourself, “Am I still curious about this topic?”

If you answered “YES!” move on to Step Seven. If you answered “mmm not really”, go back to Step One, choose a different topic and repeat!

Step Seven – Create a mini project for yourself. Set yourself a little goal and get started on your own.  At this stage it might feel like throwing yourself in the deep end, but I’ve found that you make so much more progress by having a go without any support there. Otherwise you just end up relying on that teacher too much to notice your mistakes and to tell you how to fix them. By doing it on your own, you realise where your gaps in knowledge are and what you need to learn next.

“As you start to walk out, the way appears” Rumi

Here are some ideas for this step:

• If you’re learning a language, speak to a native speaker and try out what you’ve learnt so far. It will probably just be “Hi, my name is…., what’s your name?” but still you’re having a conversation in the language! Plus you’ll notice what you want to say and can’t which will point you in the direction of what you should learn next.
• If you learning something creative such as art, cake decorating or knitting, decide on a mini project and have a go at it.
• If you’re learning something active such as climbing, only do this if it’s safe! It might be that you have to pass a qualification before having a go by yourself or with your friend but the key is that once you can, practice as often as possible and make sure that you set yourself a fun, personal mini goal to work towards.

This is a big topic (as you can tell by the length of this post haha!) and I’ve only just scratched the surface on it here, so next week my blog post will focus on Step Seven and being creative with your learning!

ACTION: Complete Steps 1-4. If you’re able to also complete Steps 5 and 6 that’s brilliant! If not at least get the event/class/Meetup scheduled and confirmed.

 

5 Reasons Why You Must Follow Your Curiosity in 2016

“I have no special talents I’m just passionately curious” Albert Einstein

How do you feel about the start of a new year?

2 years ago, I celebrated the start of 2014 with excitement-tinged frustration. Yeah I was happy about having a fresh start but I didn’t have a clue what to do with it!

I was desperate to make a big change in my life, particularly my career. I had so much energy ready and I remember how insanely frustrating it was to not to have anywhere to put it. I was completely stuck.

If I could go back and give the 2014 me some advice, it would be to unabashedly follow my curiosity. I’d tell myself not to get caught up in always having to have a purpose and be productive but to relax, have fun and play around with what I’m interested in.

So if you’re feeling like you want 2016 to be a year of big change but don’t know where to start; follow your curiosity!

Just to convince you, here are 5 reasons why it’s worth doing!

1. Increase your knowledge

“The more that you read, the more you’ll know. The more that you learn, the more places you’ll go” Dr Seuss

2. Open new doors

Who knows where following your curiosity will lead? By starting down a different path you’ll come across new ideas and new people. Any of these might lead to a life that you can’t even imagine right now.

3. Get excited about life again

You don’t realise how used you are to a boring, unfulfilling life until you feel excited about something again. Once you feel that tingle in your belly you just won’t understand how you went without it for so long.

4. Grow your confidence

Following your curiosity is all about trying new things. Even if “trying” for you is simply watching a different sort of documentary, you’ll still build your confidence. This is because trying something new, no matter how small, expands your comfort zone. You’ll realise that you’re capable of doing things differently and start seeing yourself as someone who can make a change.

5. Learn more about yourself

By actually giving the things you are interested in a go, you’ll learn more about what you enjoy and what you’re good at.

This quote explains it better than I ever could:

“There are many things in life that will catch your eye, but only a few will catch your heart. Pursue these.”
Michael Nolan

Only by finding more out about those things that catch your eye will you find out if they also catch your heart.

To put all of this into action, here are 4 simple steps you can take.

1. Write down a list of topics that you’re curious about.

Maybe you’re interested in starting a business, learning Russian, dance or refurbishing furniture. Include all those little itches that you’ve never scratched.

2. Choose one item from your list and take one tiny action to learn about it.

You could read a book, watch a movie or follow a relevant blog. Do something really simple.

3. Once you’ve found out a little more, ask yourself, “Am I still curious about this topic?”

If the answer’s no and actually it’s not what you thought it would be, that’s fine. Move on to the next item! Remember you only want to pursue things that catch your heart! It might be too early to tell but if you’re not interested now, it’s probably not for you!

4. Still interested? Then keep following your curiosity and take it up a level with something more practical.

Do something that exposes you to someone or somewhere new. How about taking a class, visiting a museum or go to a Meetup related to your chosen topic?

5. Ask yourself again, “Am I still curious about this?”

Like last time, if you’re answer’s no, move on to something new.

6. If you’re still curious, keep going! This time get creating!

“Learn as much by writing as by reading.” Lord Acton

Get stuck into your business, write an article, make a film, start drawing or speaking or cooking. Just get creating!  By doing this you’ll learn new things as you go, figure out your mistakes and work out the knowledge gaps you need to fill.

Well, there’s a lot to do there so if you do just one thing after reading this article, make sure it’s this:

ACTION: List everything and anything that sparks your curiosity. Can you list 20 topics?

Here are some questions to get you started:

•What were your favourite subjects at school?

•What topics did you really enjoy learning about?

•What type of books do normally read? What interests you about them?

•What type of TV shows or movies do you go for? What interests you about them?

•What sports or activities have you always wanted to try?

•What new ways would you like to be able to express yourself creatively?

•When you’re done let me know what’s on your list in the comments below.

“Somewhere something incredible is waiting to be known” Carl Sagan

How To Set New Year’s Goals That Really Matter

“The trick is to enjoy life, don’t wish away your days waiting for better ones ahead.” Majorie Pay Hinckley

I’ll let you into a secret. I’m a goal setting addict.

This time every year, I go into goal setting overdrive! I spend hours dreaming of all the amazing things I can achieve in the New Year. Before diligently planning it out into endless spreadsheets including all the tiny details.

But something has happened this year.

Last week, I curled up on the sofa with a cup of tea and a red, tartan blanket ready to plan an incredible 2016. I came up with some awesome goals; from learning to surf and saving for a house deposit to going on a meditation retreat but all I felt was hollow and empty.  My usual can’t-get-to-sleep-for-days excitement just wasn’t there.

So I left it for a while. I went for a muddy walk in the weirdly warm winter sunshine and I sat and got my Headspace for the day. But I still couldn’t get excited about my goals.

I left it for a couple of days then this weekend, on a trip away to Wales with my family, I finally started a book my sister had lent me. Sat in front of a roaring log fire I found this quote:

“The Navajo teach their children that every morning when the sun comes up, it’s a brand new sun. It’s born each morning, it lives for the duration of one day, and in the evening it passes on, never to return again. As soon as the children are old enough to understand, the adults take them out at dawn and they say, “The sun has only one day. You must live this day in a good way, so that the sun won’t have wasted precious time.” Acknowledging the preciousness of each day is a good way to live, a good way to reconnect with our basic joy.”

from AWAKENING LOVING-KINDNESS by Pema Chodron

 

These words struck a chord with me. I hadn’t been valuing my days at all! I had thought I needed weeks, months and years to achieve anything significant.

There and then, I suddenly realised how much opportunity we have in each single day. That empty hollow feeling that had filled my chest for days was flooded with warmth.

Looking back at the goals I’d written for 2016 I can now see that they are all focused on the end result. Spending time waiting for a better day somewhere in my future just isn’t motivating me anymore.

“We worry about tomorrow like it’s promised” hplyrikz.com

I’m aware more and more that life is so short. Time flies by and my Dad is always telling me that’ll be 60 before I know it. I want to feel like I’ve filled each day with joy and lived it to its entire breadth and depth.

The goals I’d set just weren’t in line with that. They were all about collecting experiences and ticking things off a list. And for some reason, I just can’t live for that any more.

“Collect moments not things” Aarti Khurana

I used to live by this quote. Now I’m sick of it. It’s true that experiences add more to your life than possessions. But I’m starting to see them as very similar things.

We’re all showing off our exotic travel adventures on Instagram, posting our food porn on Facebook. Is it really so different to keeping up with the Jones’ brand new BMW?

For me, travelling to new places and trying loads of new things just isn’t as meaningful or rewarding as it once was. Sure they are still fun ways to spend your time but it’s still the problem of looking outside of yourself for happiness rather than within.

To make sure I’m doing what’s right for me rather than what looks good to others, I’m now asking myself these questions before I set any goals:

Why Are You Doing It?
To collect an experience? To tick an item of your list?

What Meaning Does It Bring You?
What impact are you having?  How is it making the world a better place?

 

“The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it “ Henry David Thoreau

 

It’s easy to get trapped in a cycle of doing more activities, travelling more places and meeting more people. Instagram, Facebook and Twitter encourage that.

But what are you doing with what you already have? It’s so easy to look to this evening, the weekend, your next trip. But what about right now?

What Do You Do That Already Know You Love? Are You Doing It Every Single Day?

So I’ve decided! Instead of looking outside of myself and into the future to find things that make me happy, in 2016 I’m going to be focusing on making time for what I’ve already got.

I won’t be in recovery from my goal setting addiction but I’m going to simplify it. Instead of accumulating the clutter of loads of new things and experiences, I’m going to add depth and vividness to the what I’ve already got to work with in my life.

Take Action

1. Try out this awesome exercise by Martha Beck on Oprah.com about using adjectives to define goals. It will help you to decide the areas your everyday goals should be based on.

2. In this Live Your Legend article Chelsea Dinsmore explains how you can be successful at achieving your values each day. It will help you to set daily goals that you can really achieve.

Finally, here are my sparkling new 2016 goals. Freshly amended with this article in mind! They fill me with warmth, excitement and joy!

I took 7 adjectives I wanted in my life and created ways I can be successful at these everyday. I can’t wait until Friday, so I’m going to get started on them now!

HAPPY
Meditate each morning
Journal every evening
Answer morning and evening questions

ADVENTUROUS
Get outdoors and be active everyday

 

ENTREPRENEURIAL
Spend my evening train journey working on my business

INSPIRING
Ask everyone I meet “What are you proud of?” Or “What do you do in your free time?”

WEALTHY
Log what I spend each day

VIVACIOUS
Eat only Paleo meals and snacks

LOVING
Be 100% present each evening with Jason (without any TV, phone, tablet etc)

“Each morning we are born again, what we do today is what matters most” Jack Kornfield